Katie's LJ

First grade
We didn’t know anyone when we met
Or at least I didn’t
I was so scared, new year
New class, new teacher
I didn’t think I’d make new friends
Until I met this girl, named *blank*
Second Grade
Third through fifth
Middle School
All of it
Growing up
Crushes
Music, make up
Lies
Sleepovers, laughs
Inside jokes, guys
We went through it all
I don’t know what happened
But then came high school
The growing up
Turned to living it up
Crushes turned to lovers
Music changed
Make up we wore
Lies, they grew
Sleepovers lessened
Laughs lost
Inside jokes forgotten
Guys sucked
What happened to us?

It feels like she doesn't even care anymore. She always writes these little things all over her myspace and blogs and away messages and her aim profile saying things like "do I even have any true friends that I can count on all the time?" Well, I may not be available all the time because the world doesn't revolve around her, but I always thought that I was at least there for her when she needed someone. Now I guess all those times just don't even matter anymore. In the passed two weeks I've noticed that she doesn't even bother to talk to me anymore. And whenever I try to talk to her she just rolls her eyes at me and gives me an attitude and pretty much ignores me. I don't understand why she does, because nothing major realy happened, this is all kind of just all of a sudden and out of the blue. I think it's because I actually have things to do that don't include her. It seems kind of selfish to me. Because the other day I told her all about my first day of track and how I really loved it, and everything we did and how much of a good time I had and that she should consider trying it..and all she had to say at the end was "cool." Pretty much another way of saying "I don't care." And now she's been hanging out with new people, leaving me out, not talking to me, not bothering to call or talk to me..not anything. She complains of some mystery person being a shitty friend and how she just doesn't want to be their friend anymore in one of her blogs. I think it might be me, but who knows, I don't think she'd tell me even if it were. Well, my advice to her if she's reading it is to take a look in the mirror and see just who is being the shitty friend here. If she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, grow some guts and tell me. Because I'm DONE trying. I just don't get it. It seems like I'm always the one trying to fix things. She thinks that I'm too attached to my boyfriend and that "Boyfriends come and go but true friends are forever." Well I think "Friends may come and go, but true love is forever." I guess we're just different now, and growing apart. She likes to make statements about boyfriends and girlfriends and how friends should come first. I don't get it, she doesn't have a boyfriend, and hasn't been in a serious relationship like me. She doesn't know how it feels, and how hard it is to constantly be playing a balance act between friends and boyfriend. Especially with her because I always have to worry about her getting mad at me for even wanting to talk to John. And isn't the definition of true best friends involve being able to talk to eachother about anything and everything no matter what? Well I don't feel that with her anymore. Because I always have to worry about how she'll think of me if I talk to her about everything that's going on in my life. So now lately I've been having to turn to new people, and it's better. Because they don't judge me on the things I say, they just give me advice and don't get mad at me. So hey, if you're reading this and you think it's about you..then you're probably right. If you wanna leave it at this and not talk to me anymore, then okay, your loss. But if you want to talk to me like a civilized person and not complain about me taking you out of my profile while I'm not even in yours, then you know where to find me.

Current Location: My house
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Plain White T's

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